he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
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there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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