dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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