He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
