I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize