My cat gives me a boner
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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