before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
