I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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