Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
