oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize