Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
