she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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