I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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