..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
