Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
