I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize