I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i dont even know how to be here
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
