Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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  (586): My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god. http://tfl.nu/ww51
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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  (610): Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table http://tfl.nu/dmz2
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  (+77): View more from

  her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'

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  (+77): her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like' http://tfl.nu/jkuk
  Replies (22) Good night (6798) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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  (970): Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad http://tfl.nu/i5ms
  Replies (30) Good night (843) Bad night (4283) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

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  (609): He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/lok4
  Replies (47) Good night (3292) Bad night (7368) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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  (937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy
  Replies (29) Good night (1116) Bad night (6397)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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  (+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

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  (402): She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking. http://tfl.nu/91x5
  Replies (17) Good night (1765) Bad night (5379) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey

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  (859): i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey http://tfl.nu/w11j
  Replies (6) Good night (2985) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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  (978): Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane. http://tfl.nu/r200
  Replies (20) Good night (2787) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

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  (925): i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/zp0f
  Replies (3) Good night (1227) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas

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  (740): I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas http://tfl.nu/8zhl
  Replies (3) Good night (1818) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Braid them armpits, sister.

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  (817): We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered. (1-817): Braid them armpits, sister. http://tfl.nu/o7hq
  Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast

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  (940): I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast http://tfl.nu/e3ki
  Replies (8) Good night (308) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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  (414): i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school http://tfl.nu/pd3u
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (103) Order T-Shirt

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