I wannas sexs uuuuu
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.