I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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