I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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