Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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