well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
