Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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