alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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