You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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