Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
