Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
