Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
