We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
