theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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