I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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