That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
