im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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