R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
