Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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