Umm I'm too high to move.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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