My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
