do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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