Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
