Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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