Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Blood and glitter go together right?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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