oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
