why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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