at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize