dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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