If that was your dad, he is hot
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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