dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
