remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
