talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
