every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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