did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
