are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend