Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.