Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
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he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.