why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink