Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
