ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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