If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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