It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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