Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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